Scan Results

Hi friends, Just wanted to update everyone on my scans this week. The video below pretty much sums it up. Basically, two of my liver lesions grew in size while on the “maintenance” chemo (essentially the experimental part of the trial). So now we know that the maintenance will not work for me. When my oncologist walked into the room and said “we need to change up your medication”, I knew what that meant. In the moment it felt like someone knocked the wind out of me. Since I heard about this trial, I had hope that I could feel better and lead a more normal existence. It felt like all of that hope was taken from me in a 3 minute conversation with my oncologist. In reality, that isn’t the mindset I NEED to keep fighting. I have to remind myself that there is always a reason to hope, and things could always be worse. I just HATE the nausea and throwing up. But, if that’s what it takes to be here, then that is what I will do!

This isn’t the news we wanted by any means. I was feeling so good on the maintenance chemo, I was hoping to be able to stay on that regimen for a year or two so that during those years someone could find a cure for stage IV TNBC . But, it is what it is. It’s not something I can control. So, as of this week I was put back on the 3 drug regimen which includes Cisplatin (aka- very rough stuff).

Scan results in a nutshell

The silver lining is that the regimen I’m now on was working for me in the past before I was on maintenance. So hopefully it will continue to work for me as long as possible. I don’t know how many cycles of cisplatin one human can take (my doc mentioned a patient being on cisplatin for 10 cycles which she seemed to be hinting that 10 cycles was a lot). I’ve already had 6 cycles of cisplatin. Regardless, I’m doing my best to stay in the present, and letting God take the lead on my future. Worrying about tomorrow isn’t what God has prescribed for me. That’s something I have to continue to work on.

On a lighter note, Mark’s parents are fully vaccinated (yay for vaccinations!) They are here in Kansas City with us this week helping out. We haven’t been able to see them since Covid turned the world upside down. It’s been comforting to have them here. I’m lucky I have such supportive in-laws. (Btw- just the word in-laws makes me feel grown up….why is that?)😉

Post chemo Stars’ family selfie

In other news, today (March 26th) is the one year anniversary of my dad’s passing. It’s hard to believe that I haven’t talked to him in a year. My whole life we talked almost every day. I miss him so much and there are so many things I want to ask him. Part of me is a little relieved he doesn’t have to live through the disappointment of my cancer returning (I was still in remission at this time last year). That probably sounds terrible, but I just mean that he loved me so deeply, I know my diagnosis hurt his heart. He hated seeing me sick. I’ve only blogged about this once because it is painful to talk about. However, the truth is (for those who aren’t in the loop) a year ago today I got a knock on my front door in the middle of the night. (Just like it happens in the movies), a police officer was standing at my door and asked that I sit down. When the police officer told Mark and I that my dad had taken his own life that night, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I had just FaceTimed Dad the day before. He was smiling and seemed totally fine. Suicide is a very complex set of emotions to deal with. But, I’ve never been angry with my dad about it. I just miss him terribly. I do know he’s in a good place now and watching over me. That helps some.

A long full life, beautifully lived.
My dad, my aunt Bev (dad’s sister) and my nephew Austin. It’s also Austin’s birthday today.
One of the last things Dad wrote to me.
The moment Mark and I told my dad that we were engaged! 🙂 Dad adored Mark and was so happy for us.
My Dad, Burl and Grandfather, Morelle Hollis
Dad and I could laugh about anything. I miss his laugh so much💗
I’m so glad Dad was able to walk me down the aisle at my wedding💜

A couple of weeks ago I was writing what we wanted to be on dad’s monument stone. I kept praying and asking for a sign. Oddly enough that week my sister and aunt heard the instrumental version of “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis (that’s the song Dad walked me down the isle to). The next day I was in a parking lot and there was a real string quartet playing that song. I like to think that’s a little sign from dad 🙂

Dad loved Elvis💜

Anyway, that being said, I’m going to cut this blog short since I’m not feeling well. Thank you so much for all of the prayers! Please keep them coming. I know God has a plan for my life, and I just need to show up and do my best, one day at a time.

-xo-

⭐️Holly Hollis Stars⭐️

12 thoughts on “Scan Results

  1. Holly – Thanks for your news, even if it is not all good. No doubt, your dad is looking down on you and sending you his love and strength. Sarah and I think of you (and Mark) frequently. Rest up and know we are with you on this journey. Praying for you every Sunday (and others, once in awhile). Your friend and colleague, David

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Holly, I am so sorry to hear this. Please stay strong and keep the faith, for everything is possible through Him. You are so strong and courageous. We’re praying for you. And we love you. 🤍🤍🤍

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Holly, prayers continue. God is ever faithful. Such sweet Burl thoughts! Jimmye and I loved Burl and Benny like brothers. Miss them terribly. Love you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Strong prayers for you Holly. Your Dad was a loved man and I’m glad that I knew him…always kind. Talked to Ashley and her husband at the old oil well site in Bernice…so good to see her and tell old stories! Stay strong and positive …Love you….Gina

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Well you know how to make a girl cry! I am thinking and praying for your recovery all the time ❤️Thank you for sharing the story about your dad. Big hugs and hope to see you soon!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you Holly for the update. Although the news is not what you hoped for and hard as
    it is at times, you must keep the faith. I pray for you and Mark both every night. I’m sure
    this is a hard time right now thinking of your Dad. Just remember you have great support,
    from Barbara and John, Mark your Mom and so many people who are praying for you,
    and sending their love. I admire your strength!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Holly, the peace and assurance which you have that God is with you through all of your trials, is so inspiring! You are a beautiful, faith filled, strong warrior woman! My prayers continue daily for you, and Mark too. John & Barb were so grateful that they were finally able to travel and spend time with their beloved Holly & Mark! Happy for all of you for your time together. I’m so sorry about your dad’s passing. We enjoyed meeting and visiting with him when we were in Baton Rouge. He was such a lovely man. Stay strong and know that you have a cheering squad for your healing! Much love to you and Mark.

    Like

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