Hi friends. I’m sincerely sorry for the delay with this blog. Several friends texted me asking about my scans and I realized that I never updated everyone on the results. I’m happy to report that my scan results were stable! My oncologist said that the spots in my liver were basically the same size as the last scan. (The radiology report suggested one of lesion “may” be a tiny bit smaller). However, my oncologist said that she was comfortable calling them “stable” and not necessarily smaller. The main thing is that the cancer isn’t any bigger. Praise 👏🏼 The 👏🏼 Lord 👏🏼 When my doctor told me “the results are good, I am happy.” It was such a rush of relief. I started crying tears of joy immediately. There’s nothing like then being able to look at Mark’s face and seeing that specific brand of scan relief. It’s a strange comparison but it’s almost like that look we all want to see from our husbands when we walk down the isle. I love seeing his genuine smile and emotions… especially knowing I’m the reason for so much of his stress. (Mark always tells me “you don’t need to thank me for doing some thing I’m supposed to be doing anyway. I’m your husband.”) I still like to thank him periodically for good measure haha. Anyway, it’s crazy to think that I’m happy with some random uninvited cancer spots casually hanging out in my liver (rude) but it’s all relative right? I’ll take it. One day at a time.
Stable scans also mean that I can stay on this chemo regimen as long as it works for me. However, because I’m having side effects from this chemo, my oncologist decided to reduce my dose of cisplatin chemo last week (and going forward). If any of my prayer warriors want a specific task, we are praying that even with the reduction in dose, that the chemo will continue to keep the cancer at bay or better yet shrink it further! I need more time for someone to find a cure and every day that I’m here, that’s one day closer to a cure. The side effects I’m experiencing lately (other than the usual nausea/vomiting) are ear ringing (which can be permanent apparently) and neuropathy in my hands and feet. The side effect that is the most problematic for me right now is the neuropathy in my hands. My hands just feel cold, slow, and tired (if that makes any sense). But, I’m thankful that it’s not keeping me from functioning or working. Typing on a keyboard for work isn’t a a problem at all…but typing on my phone is a little slower and more difficult but not impossible by any means.
As you can see (pic above), I had a rough time after my last two chemo infusions. LOTS of nausea and fatigue. But I’m feeling better now!
In other news, over the last week I’ve tried to make a conscious effort to change my inner dialogue… in addition to what is coming out of my mouth. Specifically, I’ve made a point to say out loud “just because there isn’t a cure now doesn’t mean there will never be a cure….and even then, God could give me a miracle tomorrow.” I know I’ve said this kind of thing before, but saying something out loud makes it seem possible. And really, with God all things are possible, right? I have moments where I get so overwhelmed and my inner dialogue tells me unhelpful things like “you’re going to be sick the rest of your life” or “you’ll never be normal”…..or the classic “How can you possibly keep doing this long term?” But that kind of thinking isn’t helping me or anyone else. I try to be thankful and pray when I don’t feel well (and remind myself that being sick doesn’t last forever). I know that God has already given me the tools that I need to get through this. I do have about a week or so in my 21 day cycle where I feel good (and for that I’m very very grateful). It’s just tough sometimes pushing through when I’m feeling less than awesome. But who knows, maybe with the dose reduction I might feel better next cycle? 🙂 There are always reasons to hope. I think my last cycle was rough because I had my second Covid shot, chemotherapy, immunotherapy, and an Xchiva (bone mets) shot. I usually only get the Xchiva shot once a month and that alone can make me feel sick.
Please do not let that discourage you from getting your vaccination shot. My body has just been through so much, that the shot was probably worse for me….but I’ve had SO many people tell me that their second shot wasn’t bad at all.
Wrapping things up on the medical news, I’ll share a video and a picture from my last bone scan (Mark was allowed to watch the scan for the first time and it was really nice having him in the room). I’m sure I’ve blogged about it before, but they “secure” your hands and feet for the bone scan. The whole set up definitely gives me full on straight jacket vibes. Also, please don’t be alarmed at how I look in this video. I was running fever and feeling horrible during the scans. I thought about not including this video out a vanity… but that would be silly.
One more piece of news, two stray cats showed up at our house around the time Covid began last year. I couldn’t help myself… I started feeding them. I’ve had a huge Geneva size hole in my heart since December. But, I’m happy to report that we are making progress with the wild kitties and they make my heart happy. We named them Mrs. Maisel (grey one) and Mr. Mosley (orange one). My sweet neighbors are taking good care of them while we were out of town for chemo. I suppose it ended up working out well since the kitties like to be outside ….even though I wish I could bring both of them with me to Kansas City so badly. Mrs. Maisel is tamer than Mr. Mosley (she may or may not be sleeping in the bedroom with us) ….but they definitely friends so I wouldn’t want to separate them. I have security cameras everywhere (I’m paranoid) but they are super useful in keeping an eye on the kitties.
My neighbor Sheryl shipped this to me today (pic below). I started casually sobbing when I realized what was on the blanket. Not that I’m dramatic or anything. Sheryl sends me videos and pictures of the kitties daily when I’m out of town. It’s so amazing what people are willing to do to help and make me smile 🙂 I honestly could go on and on and ON about the cats and all the funny things they do but I’ll spare you…..for now 😉
I’ve had a a long day of work and I’m ready for a screen break….so I think I’ll end the blog here 🙂 Please feel free to comment if you see any horrible typos because I’m not going to proof this like I would normally.
If you’re still reading, thank you. We will ALL keep praying and I’ll keep fighting❤️❤️
⭐️Holly Hollis Stars⭐️